Using nine identical targets (i.e. pop cans, croquet hoops, boxes, bloomers, etc.) place them around the yard, public park or neighborhood (with permission of the neighbors of course) Design nine golf fairways that lead to the targets. Be sure to incorporate numerous "dog legs", obstacles and hazards like cars, trees, flower beds, pools, fences, hedge rows, etc. that penalize players for inaccurate shots and aggressive golf course management.

Show respect to the property owners by taking care in using your Turd BurglarTM in a responsible fashion. Each player must drop their Practice PoopTM or Poopie PuckTM at the same starting point of each hole and keep track of the number of times they shoot the crap on the way to touching the target with their poop.

Score cards are recommended as scores can exceed 50 points on the more difficult course lay-outs. One stroke penalties should be assessed to anyone who has to move the crap [no more than one stick length] away from a hazard [no closer to the hole] in order to have a clear shot. Standard golf rules apply.

Caution: DO NOT swing the Turd BurglarTM in a similar fashion to a golf club. A hockey style wrist shot will provide the best results. Low score wins. You must get your mind in the poop zone. Concentrate and "become the poop" You are the poop!!! ...na na na na na na nan...